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With
Love, From Hell
Cast Listing
Stanley Kowalski from A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee WilliamsFaith from Young Goodman Brown by Nathaniel Hawthorn Macbeth from Macbeth by William ShakespeareLady Macbeth from Macbeth by William ShakespeareAbigail Williams from The Crucible by Arthur MillerJohn Wade The Lake of the Woods by Tim O’BrienOfficer Citizens of Hell Deep Voice The Voice
Scene One
Pandemonium reigns. Hell is in all its glory. The ominous buzzing sound of flies is heard as pillars of flame shoot up from the ground at random intervals. Over the scene, two black moons hang together in the middle of a deep black sky.
A huge building towers over the scene, resembling the Parthenon in its design, but created for a very different purpose. The columns have been coloblack over with chipping black paint, and someone has changed the sign on top of the building from “Town Hall” to “Town Hell”.
The music playing in the background is a deep, earthy rhythm, reminiscent of the jungle. It rises and fades with the action in the scene.
In the foreground, a crowd of people, all with black horns growing from their heads, are milling about in marketplace fashion. They speak boldly and laugh brazenly. Vendors are walking around the steps, advertising wares such as goat’s tongue, snake livers, and freshly chopped pigs’ heads. There is an atmosphere of indulgence, vanity, violence, and wickedness.
A growing line of others, who have the wide open eyes of newcomers, are standing to one side, in front of an ornate gate. They wait impatiently, staring at their surroundings. At the head of this line, is Faith, working behind a podium, clearly frazzled by the onslaught. The newcomers hand her a sheet of paper, she looks over it quickly, and then stamps it loudly. Faith hands it back to its owners and gives them a quick, professional smile as an officer who is standing with her opens Hell’s Gate to let them in.
OFFICER (swinging his cudgel): We have a lot of newcomers in Hell today, huh?
FAITH (quickly while she works): The lines are backed up past the river Acheron all the way to Purgatory. Charon has had to call up Security to ask for extra ferries.
Suddenly, a loud ripping noise is heard. A blurry object falls from the ceiling and lands with a thump on the floor. The people stop their actions to turn and stare. As the blur unfolds itself, it turns out to be Stanley, hell’s newest tenant. The people resume their business as Stanley gets up and examines his surroundings. He notices the line, and pushes through it to get to the front. There are annoyed grunts from the others. He reaches Faith, takes a second look at her.
STANLEY: Hey, baby. (He leans in toward her) You feel like doin’ me a favor?
FAITH (she has no time): Please step onto the line, sir. I’ll be with you shortly.
STANLEY: Yeah, well, they told me I’m a special pri-O-rit-y case.
FAITH: Special priority?
STANLEY: Yes Siree, Bob.
FAITH (sighing): One moment, please.
She picks up an old fashioned phone and speaks into the mouthpiece .
FAITH: Yes, hello? We have a black 397, here. How shall I proceed? (listens for a while) Will do.
She looks up at him brightly .
FAITH: Right this way, sir.
The Officer takes over as Faith opens Hell’s Gate and leads Stanley in. Faith takes a direct path, cutting through the crowd to Town Hell.
The scene around them changes. The foreground, the gate and the crowd fade into the darkness as the lights are concentrated on Faith and Stanley’s journey. The music swells as Faith and Stanley climb its steps to the very top. It stops abruptly as Faith pulls a bell rope. A huge gong sound resonates loudly.
FAITH: Sir, if you will, go straight in through this hallway. His most Vile Majesty is waiting for you.
STANLEY: Thanks babe. (makes phone gesture with his hands) I’ll call you.
FAITH (rolling her eyes): Of course you will.
Faith walks back down the steps as Stanley peers down the hallway. It seems as if it would go on forever, black and daunting.
Stanley cracks his knuckles to regain his courage, puts his hands in his pockets and starts walking through. All that can be heard is the tapping of his shoes against the marble floors.
STANLEY: Hello, Anybody home?
Seconds after the words escape from his lips, the room becomes illuminated with a bright black light. Shadows and flame appear around a throne of black. Images of wicked things are seen in the shadows. The ground shakes as a voice rises up from the throne.
DEEP VOICE: Stanley Kowalski . . .
Stanley ducks and covers his head.
DEEP VOICE: Welcome . . . to . . . HELLL - - -
Another voice, a higher pitched wail, cuts through Deep Voice. Deep Voice coughs.
DEEP VOICE (not sounding so deep now): John!!! How many times must I tell you to keep quiet while I’m doing business.
John Wade screeches and scuttles across the floor on all fours, like an ape.
From behind the shadows, a figure emerges. He is wearing Medieval clothing, old and raggedy looking, but wears it with an important air. A black, swirling cape adds to the pitiful act. The fires fade, and he walks toward Stanley.
MACBETH: Sorry about that. John is just a nuisance. I keep telling myself to get rid of him, but I’m just such procrastinator. I’ll do it tomorrow.
STANLEY (a little ashamed of his prior fear): Hey, you’re not Hades! I was told to speak to Hades. Who are you?
MACBETH: Well, I’m terribly sorry dear boy, but Hades seems to have gotten himself into a . . . uh (coughs again) compromising situation. I’m the king of Hell now.
STANLEY (with disbelief): YOU’RE king of Hell.
Macbeth nods importantly.
STANLEY: Why, I could beat you up with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back.
MACBETH (a little annoyed): Excuse me, young man, but if you would please show respect for your elders and (snobbishly) betters, maybe I – (He stops as Stanley flexes his muscles) – Oh, who am I kidding.
Macbeth turns on an overhead light that reveals a grand table. He gestures for Stanley to sit down, and leans over the table to offer his hand.
MACBETH: I’m Lord Macbeth, the most Vile of Hell. Pleased to make your acquaintance.
STANLEY (shakes his hand): Stanley.
MACBETH (pulling the chair up to the table): So what’re you in for?
STANLEY (lightly): Oh . . . I raped some chick. My wife’s sister, actually. What about you?
MACBETH: Me? I murdeblack a lot of people, kings, friends, innocent mothers and children. You know, the usual. This one (points to John Wade, who is hunched over, picking flies out of hair, and watching them writhe as he crushes their heads), he left his brain somewhere between here and Lake Ontorio. (leans in close, and whispers) By the time he got to those pearly gates, he was totally whacked. (Makes crazy gesture) They couldn’t really tell which way he should go, you know, he was just so messed up. So they just sent him down here. Beer?
STANLEY: (Sighs) Why not? Fill er up.
The drinks are poublack and both men take a long swig.
STANLEY: Hey, Macbeth, aren’t you from the 14th century or something? What’s the deal with your accent?
MACBETH: Well, you know, after spending 700 years in one place, you get to learn the lingo.
MACBETH (after gulping vigorously): Well, Stanley, is it? – May I call you Stan?
STANLEY: No.
MACBETH: Well, Stan, what seems to be the problem?
STANLEY: I can’t stay here.
MACBETH: And why the hell not?
STANLEY: I have obligations. You see, I’ve lost my wife. She went off to heaven, and I was sent here to hell. I’m going crazy without her. I need to get back to Purgatory, so I can “repent” or whatever. Macbeth, I need to get to heaven.
MACBETH (waving it off): Wife, schmife, who cares. All they do is yell at you anyway. Stay in Hell. Believe me you’ll have a great time. We throw the most exquisite Friday Night Coffee Hours.
STANLEY: But I love her.
Macbeth gasps and slams his cup on the table.
MACBETH: (his tone rising): Love? What the hell is something like “love” doing in Hell? (Folding his arms and resuming his important air) We can’t allow that rubbish in here.
STANLEY: Exactly, so let me out.
MACBETH: Hmm, let me think about it.
He takes off his head and slowly rolls it in his hands. Stanley looks disgusted.
MACBETH: Ok.
He stops abruptly and places the head back on his shoulders.
MACBETH: I’ve thought about it. He decisively slaps his hands against the table two times.
MACBETH: What, are you kidding? Of course not. I just signaled my hellions. They should be arriving shortly . . . yes, there they are.
Five gruesome looking monsters, all scales and boils slither from the ground and stand around Stanley. In a matter of seconds, they reach out and pin his arms behind his back. Stanley cries out and struggles against them, but the hellions are too strong. Macbeth laughs evilly.
STANLEY (straining): Why would you do this?
MACBETH: Well, son, because you are much more useful to me in hell than in heaven. Imagine how it will be when the Divine hears that I have in my possession a human that loves. I, Lord Macbeth the Vile, will have outwitted the creator of wit. Why, I think that’s the best plan I’ve had in centuries. Good relationships are everything in the business world, Stan. Especially when they’re tipped toward your favor. Hmm. You should write that down somewhere.
Stanley spits on him.
STANLEY (furious): You villain, when I get my hands on you, I’ll . . .
MACBETH: Temper, temper, my fiery little man. Hellions, take him away.
Stanley is led away, kicking and screaming curses. Macbeth cackles maliciously. John Wade joins him, and Macbeth reaches down and pets John’s hair. Their cackling continues as the scene fades out.
Scene Two
The room is decorated in the national colors of hell - black, orange, yellow, and black. A picture of Macbeth hangs in the center of the room, smiling as if it would continue to smile forever.
It is clearly a lady’s bedroom. Dresses are spilled haphazardly on the bed. Perfumes and lotion bottles lay all over the floor and the vanity.
Lady Macbeth is sitting in front of her vanity while Abigail, her handmaiden, combs the flies out of her hair.
LADY MACBETH: These dreadful flies. Ever since I moved to hell, all I worry about what these stupid flies are doing to my hair. Abigail, hand me my fan, would you?
ABIGAIL (quietly): Yes, milady.
She deliberately places the ivory comb on the vanity and moves to get the fan from the other side of the room.
LADY MACBETH (continuing): When I was alive, I yearned for adventure. Something to do, you know, instead of sitting around like a lady. And when the opportunity knocked on my door, I let it in. Abby, I KILLED people. My hands were stained with their blood. But the problem was, I felt guilty about it. So guilty, I decided to kill myself. You think that would have done some good. But NOOO, when I got to purgatory, they said suicide didn’t equal repentance. Who makes up these stupid rules anyway? And here I am now, still sitting around like a lady, while my husband (gestures at the picture on the wall) continues to act like a maniac on the loose – Thanks, dear, would you mind fanning me and combing at the same time? You’re an absolute doll. I hate this place. I hate being a lady. Hell is definitely not everything I thought it would be. I want out. You know what, someday, I’m going to go back to purgatory. Figure out a way to get out of this mess. I need to start acting like a man again, Abigail. A MAN!!
ABIGAIL: You will, milady. Soon.
LADY MACBETH: It better be soon. Ow –
She slaps her arm.
LADY MACBETH: That fly bit me. They’re all biting me. Stupid flies. (she lets out an exasperated moan) Somebody, get me out of hell!!
In a tantrum, she sweeps the bottles from her vanity onto the floor, and storms out, slapping her arms, and leaving Abigail to clean the mess.
Scene Three
The scene is a prison cell in hell. It is appropriately decked out with the essential items – dead rats, walking skeletons and the like. The jail keeper, a giant, ugly pig with an earring in its nostril is dozing off in the corner.
Each cell is about five feet in length and width, undecorated except for the flies. Laughter and drinking is heard in the prison cells farther down. Stanley is staring at his hands. Suddenly, John Wade creeps up to the bars on his door, and looks in.
JOHN WADE (whispering): Stanley . . . oh Stanley . . . Hey Stanley! Wake up.
STANLEY: Wha . . . what, oh John. It’s only you.
JOHN WADE: John is not an ape, Stanley. John hears what people says about him. “Oh, that poor John, he walks around like a monkey. I wonder what happened to his brain.” Oh, yes, John hears all of it. But John will shows them, Stanley, yes he wills. One day, John will shows them.
STANLEY: I hope you do, kiddo.
JOHN WADE: That Macbeth, he thinks he’s all that. Crowning himself King of Hell. Let me tells you something, Stan, it’s a load of crap. He’s not really king. We just handed him that fake crown so he’d shut up. Old British guys can get really annoying sometimes, you know? (laughs nervously) STANLEY (uncertainly): Sure.
JOHN WADE: That’s right.
Stanley looks at him a moment before continuing.
STANLEY (leaning in): Hey, listen up. You think you can keep a secret, John?
JOHN WADE: Oh, yeah - Yeah, yeah.
STANLEY: I’m planning on breaking out of this joint. Whaddya think?
JOHN WADE: Yeah, Stan, that sounds like a great idea. John could help.
STANLEY: Really?
JOHN WADE: Yeah, yeah. John knows where Macbeth keeps the keys to Hell’s Gate.
STANLEY: Well, what do you know? You’re more useful than I thought.
JOHN WADE: Yeah, yeah. John Wade wills bring Stan the keys to Hell. He wills also gives Stan his boat. To get across the river Acheron to Purgatory.
STANLEY: Where will you get a boat?
JOHN WADE: John has his ways.
STANLEY: Ok, man, I won’t question you. We’ll set Operation Get Me Outta Here to begin in approximately two days. You think you can get things arranged by then?
JOHN WADE: Sures, sure.
STANLEY: Then in two days, John, we’ll be out of this place. And, by the way, it’s gotta be an undercover job. If we get caught, who knows what will happen? Let’s make a pact. Man to . . . uh. . . man. You can’t tell ANYONE about our plan. Swear, John? Let’s shake on it.
Stanley reaches through the bars of the cell and shakes John Wades hand.
JOHN WADE (nodding vigorously): Yeah, yeah, Swear, Stan, swear. Man to man. Wees getting out of here. Free at last, free at last.
STANLEY: Ok buddy. (pats him on the shoulder)
The jailkeeper pig lets out a huge snort, and begins to wake up.
STANLEY: You better leave, kiddo.
JOHN WADE: Sure, Stan, Sure. I don’t wanna be left alone.
He turns and scuttles off.
Scene Four
Lady Macbeth is on her balcony, sitting on her satin couch and looking out at hell. Abigail fans her and places grapes in her mouth. She is talking to Abigail as the scene begins.
LADY MACBETH: Did you hear him at supper today? I’m telling you, Abigail, that man is slowly losing all the brains he has, and he didn’t start out with much in the first place. All he used to talk about was conquering Hell, and now that’s he’s gone and done that, all he talks about is getting a piece of Heaven, too. I mean, what about his wife? Does he even remember that I exist? Abby, I must get out of this dreadful place.
ABIGAIL: Milady, I know of a man who would solve all of thy problems.
LADY MACBETH (a little startled that she has spoken): What is that? Speak up, child.
ABIGAIL (shyly): Well, I wouldn’t know, but at the servants quarters they’ve been talking about this new person in Hell. He’s quite the character, rough and not afraid of anything. People say he knows the way to get out of here.
LADY MACBETH (interested): Really? And where is this man now?
ABIGAIL: My master, the most Vile, hast put him in jail for safekeeping.
LADY MACBETH (sighs): Typical. He has absolutely no clue how to handle situations like this. But Abigail, this must be some man if Macbeth has attempted to jail him. A real man – a manly man, I bet.
ABIGAIL (sits down on the couch with her): Milady, he doth be leaving tonight.
LADY MACBETH (gasps): What? So quickly?
ABIGAIL: Yes. If thou wouldst follow him, thou must make the necessary preparations immediately.
LADY MACBETH (resolute): Of course I will follow him. I’ll follow him to the ends of hell. Maybe he’s the adventure I’ve been searching for all these centuries, Abigail. He may be, he may not be, but I’m definitely not going to sit on my butt like a lady and wait to find out. Come on, help me get ready. How many changes of clothing do you think I’ll need? I’ll have to take some of my jewelry with me, of course . . .
Her voice fades away as the scene ends.
Scene Five
It is twelve o’clock in the night that same evening. The sky is a deep black, and black stars peek through it. The scene is the Town Hell courtyard. The gates of hell are visible, glinting with silver lights although no lights are shining on them.
A shadow moves across the court yard. It is John Wade, crawling like an ape across the floor. He carries a key in his mouth. Stanley’s figure is seen breaking away from one of the pillars of Town Hell. He meets John. They both hurry to the gate.
STANLEY (whispering): You got the key?
JOHN WADE: Yes, yes. John was very smart and tricky, but he’s gots it. (chuckles to himself)
STANLEY: Good job, kiddo.
He takes the old skeleton key and tries to open the lock on Hell’s Gate.
STANLEY (fumbling): How do you do this?
John Wade takes it from him.
JOHN WADE: John wills show. John wills show Stanley.
STANLEY: John, if you knew how to do it, how come you didn’t escape from hell a long time ago?
JOHN WADE: John doesn’t wants to be left alone. Stanley, don’t leave him.
STANLEY: Of course not, kiddo.
The doors suddenly swing open with a creak.
STANLEY: I hope no one heard that. John, where’s your boat?
JOHN WADE: John wills show. Is here, come Stanley.
John and Stanley walk out of hell and John shows him a batteblack up old boat .
STANLEY: It has an engine?
JOHN WADE: No, John Wade ran out of gas.
STANLEY: Oh. (pauses) I don’t want to know.
They both hear a loud snore, and turn around at the same time. It is Faith, snoozing on her podium, looking tiblack and worn out.
Stanley walks over to her and wakes her up .
STANLEY: Hey, babe. I told you I’d call.
FAITH (mumbling in her sleep): Leave me alone, I don’t want to be an evil person.
STANLEY: Don’t we all.
Faith wakes up suddenly. She looks around her, afraid.
FAITH: Oh my, what is this? You can’t be here after hours.
STANLEY: That’s exactly why I’m leaving.
FAITH: You’re leaving? From Hell? Are you kidding me? No one’s managed to do that in a million years.
STANLEY: So, maybe I’ll be the first one. Come with me, Faith. We’ll leave this place together.
Faith looks uncertainly between him and John Wade.
STANLEY: What do you have to stay for? A job that you hate. People that you can’t stand. What could be worse than hell?
Faith hesitates a moment longer before quickly taking the hand he offers. Stanley holds the boat steady while they all get in.
Lady Macbeth and Abigail walk through the gate.
LADY MACBETH: If she’s going, I’m going too.
STANLEY: Who are YOU?
LADY MACBETH: I am your queen and I command you to take me and my handmaiden on your boat.
STANLEY: No way. There’s not a chance in hell.
LADY MACBETH: Oh, yeah? I’ll scream. I will. Everyone will hear and come running and who will get blamed? You.
Stanley is still in shock..
LADY MACBETH (taunting): I’ll do it. I really will. Loudly. One. . . two . . . three.
She starts screaming. Stanley lunges and claps his hands over her mouth and whispers fiercely into her ear.
STANLEY: FINE. You can come. (sarcastically) I’ll kill you when we get to purgatory, but come on, enjoy the ride.
Lady Macbeth and Abigail get in and boat visibly sinks lower on the water. Stanley takes one last look at hell, and climbs on board. Abigail pushes John Wade out of the way to make room. He slips and falls out into the water.
Stan pulls up the anchor as John Wade starts crying.
JOHN WADE: Stanley, Stan. Don’t leave. You’re forgetting me. Nooo. Kathy don’t go. Don’t leave me. Noo, please.
Stanley takes the oars in his hands and pushes off into the river.
LADY MACBETH: Poor guy. You kind of get to feel sorry for him.
A moment of silence.
LADY MACBETH: Anyway, Stanley, isn’t it? I’ve heard a lot about you. May I call you Stan?
STANLEY: No.
Lady Macbeth leans forward and puts her chin in her hands. She is very talkative, addressing Stanley, Abigail and Faith in turn.
LADY MACBETH: So tell me about yourself, Stan. What makes you tick? What is working inside that head of yours? I want to know everything.
A nerve is twitching on Stanley’s face. As she continues to talk, he gets more and more aggravated.
LADY MACBETH: How did you get in hell in the first place?
STANLEY (through clenched teeth, bluntly): I raped my sister-in-law.
LADY MACBETH (taken aback): Well. Stanley. That is just so . . . interesting. Didn’t I tell you Abigail? When I first heard about him. I knew he was a real man. A manly man. Just the sort of man I’m into. You don’t look afraid of anything. I bet you’ve killed a lot of people in your day.
STANLEY: Whatever.
LADY MACBETH: Look at how modest he is? Isn’t that cute? So how do you do it? I mean I’ve killed some people. Nothing to brag about. I can count them on one hand. Does committing suicide count as killing someone? Hmm. . . a thought for a later time. Anyway, what was I saying, right, but afterwards, I just started feeling so bad about it. How do you prevent the guilt from coming on like that? Come on, Stan, give a poor girl advice. I really like you, you’re just so –
STANLEY: Listen, lady. I didn’t want to bring you in the first place. Either you shut your trap, or I’ll have good reason to drop you overboard right now.
LADY MACBETH: Whatever you say, Stan. My lips are sealed.
She makes a zipping motion and pretends to throw the key in the water .
STANLEY: Good. Now keep it that way.
After a couple moments of silence.
LADY MACBETH: I wonder how wide this river is. Stan, Are we there yet?
STANLEY: Someone please kill me again.
Scene Six Three hours have passed. The passengers on the small boat are exhausted. Lady Macbeth continues to talk.
LADY MACBETH: . . . I was just a little girl then, you know. Losing my father was such a hard thing, but losing my hair to a corn grinding mill is definitely one of the more aggravating things in life. Did you know this is not my real hair? I –
There is a grinding sound. The boat has hit dry land.
STANLEY (with incblackible relief): Thank you, sweet Heaven.
He jumps out of the boat, wades the few feet to land, and bends on all fours to kiss it.
The rest follow, unsure of their legs, and the reality of where they are.
FAITH (amazed): This can’t be true. We can’t actually be at Purgatory, can we? Do you realize how many people have tried to do this over the past million years? No one has ever made it passed the Acheron and actually onto dry land.
STANLEY: Babe, when you’re with me, anything is possible.
LADY MACBETH (clasps her hands together and spins around): Oh, my, this is incblackible. What adventure. What excitement. Oh, Stan!
Lady Macbeth laughs, and the feeling catches. The escapees let out shouts of happiness. Stanley, in a state of joy, grabs Lady Macbeth and swings her around.
Just then, a screeching noise is heard. It is John Wade, flying in on the back of a hellion. Riding with him is none other than . . . Lord Macbeth.
MACBETH: Trying to break out of hell, are we?
He laughs cruelly. The hellions fill the sky behind him.
MACBETH: Not only must you destroy my plan to outwit the divine, now you want to steal my wife, too? (pauses) You know what, you can have her. Hellions, grab them.
The hellions form a circle around them.
STANLEY: But, John, we shook on it!
JOHN WADE: It’s hell, Stan, every man, woman and beast for himself.
FAITH: I knew this would happen. Didn’t I tell you we didn’t stand a chance from the beginning?
LADY MACBETH: Stan, don’t just stand there, do something.
STANLEY: Well, what do you want me to do? Make gruesome faces at them?
LADY MACBETH: ARGH! All men are alike. Look, I have a sword!
From the folds of her dress, she takes out a long, shining sword.
STANLEY: You had a sword with you all this time?
LADY MACBETH: Stanley Kowalski, concentrate on the problem at hand!
Macbeth and his hellions float around them, chanting curses. John Wade is throwing pebbles.
STANLEY (whispers to them): Ok. On the count of three, we attack. You got it?
They nod.
STANLEY: One . . . Two . . . Three!
All hell breaks loose. Stanley swings the sword at the nearest hellion, whose head falls with a clunk to the ground. The decapitated body flies into Abigail, who ducks and covers her own head. Lady Macbeth has found a short sword in her clothes and lunges at the hellions around her. Faith grabs on to the nearest hellion’s horns, and is thrown around.
STANLEY: I’ll get you yet, Macbeth.
MACBETH: Dearest Stanley. (chuckles) In case you haven’t noticed, the odds are definitely tipped in my favor. You should have l listened to the advice I gave.
Just as Macbeth starts to laugh his evil villain laugh, Stanley throws a hellion’s foot at him. His head rolls off, screaming and indignant and bounces through the battle field. The body runs in all directions, looking for it.
All of a sudden, a police siren is heard. The escapees are caught black and white headlights.
Police Angels, arrive on the scene, riding sphinxes, and carrying the law with them. They land on the battlefield, and surround the escapees.
Police Angel: Attention. Put your hands up. You are under arrest by the Interworld Security Squad. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Macbeth’s head rolls onto the scene.
Macbeth: Oh bother.
Thunder shakes the ground. A giant cloud is forming in the sky, foamy white and imposing. A break in the cloud allows a sliver of light to fall on the ground in front of the battlefield.
Police Angel: You might want to speak to the big guy.
Faith screams and continues to scream on and off throughout the dialogue.
Abigail, who has been quite thus far, runs into the middle, toward the light.
ABIGAIL (suddenly traitorous and in hysterics): WITCH, WITCH. This lady is a WITCH. Oh, Divine Majesty. Heaven, heaven (falls to her knees). I come a sinner. I repent before thy matchless grace. (cries out) She is piercing me with her eyes. Oh! (clutches her sides) Her demons are thrusting swords into my skin. It is not I, my Lord, who is evil, but those you see behind me. Look on me with thy favor!
STANLEY (yelling and shaking his hands at the light): I am a man, must I live like this without a woman? Must I spend eternity without my love . . .
MACBETH (running around searching for his missing part): My head, my head you blasted scoundrels.
LADY MACBETH: My hands are bloody with sin, I am tortublack by flies, is there justice to such punishment as this?
ABIGAIL: Witch, witch!! Dear Father, hear my prayer . . .
Macbeth finds his head and is about to fix it back on, when John Wade screeches, grabs it from him, and runs around the circle of sinners with the head held high between his hands.
LADY MACBETH: All the water in the world, in heaven and earth, will it not wipe my soul clean of this hell?
Their voices rise and swell, growing louder and more frantic.
ALL (brokenly): This witch - this woman - this ape - this love - my head –
The Voice (deep and resonating over the voices of the others): I have one thing and only one thing to say to all of you.
They stop and look up at the cloud. There is silence.
The Voice: . . . Get back to hell.
Scene Seven The six hustled into a police van and driven to jail. The scene takes place inside the van.
STANLEY: Well, it can’t get much worse than this can it? No, wait – it can. I’m going to have to spend the rest of eternity in a cell with . . . you people.
FAITH: Why don’t we just wait till Armaggedon and try again? I’m sure in the middle of all that confusion, they won’t notice a couple of people escaping from hell.
STANLEY: Sounds like a good plan. So . . . . how long will that take?
FAITH: Hmm . . . about 3 million years. Give or take a couple hundblack.
STANLEY (sighing): I guess we’ll just have to make the best of it.
JOHN: Is it 3 million years yet?
ABIGAIL: No.
MACBETH: I hate you. I hate all of you. I hope you know that. I hope the flies eat you in your sleep and that you boil over till you leak pus and -
THE OTHERS: - - Aww shutup Macbeth.
LADY MACBETH: Honey, your head’s not on straight.
Macbeth takes it off in exasperation, and holds it in his hands.
JOHN WADE: Is it 3 million years now?
MACBETH: I hope you all DIE AND GO TO HE—(everyone stares at him, while the lady picks a dead wasp out of her hair) Aww nevermind.
JOHN: Now is it time?
ABIGAIL: No.
STANLEY: What do you say to a game of Old Maid, old maid.
ABIGAIL: What did you say, you ugly Polack, old Maid? I’ll give you Old Maid.
STANLEY: Calm down, woman, I was talking about B – Mac over there.
Macbeth furiously throws his head at him.
JOHN: How about now?
FAITH: No.
Silence as the cards are shuffled, and Macbeth throws his head. The scene slowly fades into darkness.
JOHN: Is it 3 milli - - -
THE OTHERS in unison: SHUT UP!
Scene Eight
Music: “Play the Funky Music”
Screen image: Mug shots of each of them in prison clothes are seen. They stand for the camera, front and side view, all in their individual poses.
Under their pictures, these words are typed in.
Stanley Kowalski - Charged with attempting to escape from hell and attempting to suffocate Macbeth on the way back.
Lord Macbeth – Charged with trying to take over Hell, unbalancing the order in the universe, and neglecting spouse
Faith – Charged with misconduct in a government position, obstruction of justice, and burning Mr. Kowalski.
John Wade – Charged with stealing, throwing sharp objects at judges, and attempting to place a bomb in a federal building.
Abiagil Williams – Charged with lying in a federal court of law and stealing of a Lady’s Wig.
Lady Macbeth – Charged with attempted poisoning of spouse, drowning of spouse, and dismembering of spouse’s previously attached parts.
End.
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